A Good Year

It's been a while since I last wrote.. I think the last post was in last year..after that many incidents have occurred..sure I got to see a guy I liked once with another bitch, again and again..and again.....I don't love him any more so why d' I feel bad? Well I felt bad coz I have no one...and they have each other....I felt they were laughing at me..though I had as much sanity to understand that this wasn't true. so anyways, I refused to be sane..everyday I used to cry after seeing them together. Pathetic, I know. The fact is that now I am quite comfortable with the bitch but not so any more with the guy. Calling him a dog would be insulting to dogs. And then I had a celebration with folks. Every time I sit with them makes me realize why I am what I am today. Sidney Sheldon once wrote, the only thing you need to be a good writer is a pen, a paper and a dysfunctional family. Guess then I have all the ingredients to be a good writer! Cool. And what's more. I had a great fight with a friend. I pretend nothing is wrong. That everything is cool. Nobody likes whiners. And what's the point, frankly? May be people would understand, may be they won't. But it will keep on repeating again and again. I guess sometimes you need to give a bit of space to others. It's not tht every time they will say the best of things to you even when their mood is off. But my insecurity takes over at this point of time.... I feel that since they can be blunt enough to tell you that they don't need you, it means that they don't need you after all....and then who would want to be with an insecure little wretch like me? Great, here I go on whining. But it's my blog..right..so I can do whatever I want! I guess there are a lot of people who have heard curses from their close family members on special family occasions. I am used to that. So it didn't bother me much. What I'm wondering is that if this is what this year has brought in at the beginning, what will it bring next? Sure, there have been pretty nice things too.... I don't feel as perturbed as I used to once. But the lingering feeling of being left out, being rejected still haunts. Speaking of which my "ex" best friend was suddenly very nice to be today, god knows why! However that does feel nice. but I am determined not to read too much in the between the lines. I have made a lot of mistakes with him last year..and the year before, not any more.